A HEY APATHY! MONSTER COMICS! While travelling the world in search of undiscovered sciences the young marketing master named Phillip Straus happened upon many strange things. He'd found unexplored medicines, music and meditations but was perpetually denied patents and funding from his office back home. The primary dissolution for all of his finds lay in the fact that synthetic, yet often placebo, replicas were already being sold. Phillip was not one to give up very easily and as his expenses were covered gladly continued his quest. It was in a small peaceful jungle village in the northern region of Africa that he finally encountered the most incredible product.

A Shaman told him about some wondrous seeds which frequently proved amazingly useful to his tribe and their lands. These magic seeds, as Phillip was informed, could grow very rapidly and assume human forms. The unusual vegetations would then adopt characteristics of tribes-people and then assist in the chores and regularly took part in the Shaman's expeditions and the community harvest. The plant-people were kind offering their services happily asking only for water and a restful place in the sun. The Shaman stated clearly that, though it was not truly necessary, that he'd always freed the creatures in the jungle after they'd participated in three tasks.

Having doubts to the claims but assured the medicine man was not lying, Phillip offered a large sum of money for the seeds but received only joyously playful laughter from the chief. "You may take what you like, they are not mine to trade and besides no foreigner has ever visited us before. We know little of the outside world but much of it's suffering that I am happy to send our fantastic treasure abroad." Ever the business man Phillip happily agreed while sending a considerable receipt back to the office of which he had cashed and kept for himself.

Before leaving Phillip, with feint humbleness, requested a demonstration in order to make sure he'd not lose face at the corporation. The shaman simply pulled back a few bushes revealing the odd scene. There stood several organic compositions all standing tall with appendages sowing a small field. The absurdly monstrous plant beings turned briefly to wave with what one could only surmise as great smiles although they'd no normal mouths any comedian or botanist might recognize. Satisfied Phillip secured his treasures and set on his long journey back to the metropolis.

Upon his arrival at the sky-scraping castle headquarters of his associates Phillip entered the lobby. The elevator propelled him to the sixty-sixth floor where his colleagues awaited in suits around a traditionally enormous long rectangular marble table. At the opening of his excited power point presentation the members of the board began to roll their eyes. Several mumbles in anger and jest rolled in whispers and loudly across the room. A comment reminiscent of Jack’s own reciprocation followed with jokes about a magic beanstalk. Had Phillip truly lost all of his wits under the pressure of travel and the hot African sun? As the chief executive reached forward to press the ominously red button , Phillip gestured grandly presenting his phone. “Fear not that I am mad for I have in my hand here the proof!” He turned on the small video screen and showed his employers the brief live capture he’d gotten without the tribesmen’s knowledge. The video phone showed the strange plant beings working steadily in the fields of the far off land. Though still not convinced, as computer graphics have progressed incredibly as of late, the footage stopped the security call and Phillip was permitted to give his demonstration.

Phillip uprooted a small plant decorating a corner of the office and place a seed inside the vacated pot. He set the pot on the marble desk and added some water while exclaiming that what he’d found was to change all the world. He proclaimed that he’d seen a single plant gracefully handle tasks requiring many men and that it asked little compensation for their highly skilled work. “ These plants imitate human beings but do not complain, get stressed, strike, or tire nor do they continually dream of better things!” With this the end of his speech, Philips step back in awe as the vegetation arose up out of the ceramic container.

The sight was marvellous as the tree grew instantly 6 feet taking on limbs, legs and torso not unlike man. The sudden twisting and shaping of muscles would have been hideous in a mammal but retained a serene beauty as plant-life mesmerizing the crowd. Then as quickly as the wonder began the creature stepped out of the soil and reached an extended vine hand grasping the chairman by throat. In a matter of seconds the room was disembowelled as the monstrous plant person attacked everyone insight. It grasped and suffocated each member with out remorse and greedily engulfed all the other plants in the room. Phillip had managed to bolt for the door holding the rest of the seeds tightly in his right fist. His escape was however not meant to be and one can be sure he was only spared because of his possession of the other seeds.

The plant had now grown multiple tendril like appendages and had proceeded to almost out grow the room when it swarmed all around Phillip blocking the exit. The indescribably obvious face leaned close to Phillips snatching the seeds then eating them whole. Cornered the young businessman’s mind ran across a sentence from his memory of the kind hearted witch doctor. “ The plants adopt the characteristics of the tribes people”. The tribes people were simple peace loving and quaint, but this monster was all devouring, seething, devious and mad. With his last breath Phillip glanced around at the remains of the boardroom and its members knowing all to well where the monster had learnt it’s new traits.


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About heyapathy

HEY APATHY! is an ongoing artistic investigation into the monstrous metropolis, the people, and the mechanics of being. Alternative Comics, surreal ink drawings, strange stories, street painting, murals and animation. Mike Parsons live in Toronto and draws lots of pictures.
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